Friday, October 21, 2005

Lately
I've been chatting with possibly lots of people
& it made me realise something

I only knew KC over the weekend
& he was wise enough to analyse me via online chats
& told me that I indeed had split personalities
& that I started to assume 'no one understands me' when I felt that things are way outta control
How true

Roy was telling some other divers that I'm easily satisfied
(Not sexually please)
That it doesnt matter whether it's a bumphead or rainbow
Parrotfishes make me happy
& I only went diving with him once
How attentive!

Er ge was telling me about my lack of confidence
That a beautiful girl like me shouldnt have little/no confidence at all
(Beautiful or not, it's dependant on personal preference.Strongly not coz I thick-skinned, ok?)
Likewise did some of my other friends mentioning about the beauty

There I went wondering
Since there are so many people agreeing that my beauty is presentable
Why am I still feeling so.... unconfident? lack of security?Uncomfortable?
& why is it that they understand me so easily via my actions & behaviour?

I know I have xenophobic
But this is dissolving as I got to know new people via fun activities
Such as diving & WildFilms
Likewise
People whom I knew previously, eg. 6yrs ago, are looking for me now
For help? For fun? For anything?
I dont care
The point there is...
People I know remember me
People know me

Call me a bimbo, if you'd like to
Coz it is really surprising that other people tend to know me more than I know it myself
& all I did was to continue being so 'me'

I don think I even know what the hell I'm doing

OK
This is weird

Shucks

I've been listening & taking in advices
Am glad that people are there to help me when I look most bimbotic
Getting me back on the track

Kicking away all the sucky incidents
It's time for a new start

Hey people
Time for nicotine & alcohol?

*giggles*

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