Friday, May 25, 2007

I'm free from Thalassemia
Those 3 trials of blood withdrawal worths the test

Finally to diving!
Cant wait to see my bumpheads

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I cannot tahan stupid people
As in
Really logically STUPID
Cant believe their existence

J from external organisation called me
Told me that the documents I provided is photocopied upside-down
Requested for a clarification
Wants me to send them a proper copy

I was like
"DUHZ!Clarify what shit? Cant you do it re-photocopy the photocopy into the correct position?"

I told my colleagues
All went 'DDDDDDDDDDDuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhzzzzzzz'

Delay my application again

Nothing better to do isit?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


I have 2 different versions of advise on the same thing
Advise A
Advise B

I donno which to listen

And I thought I should listen to Advise A
& started working towards
Then midway
Realised something is wrong
I should have listen to Advise B
But I cant turn back


It's something that dragged me for 5 bloody damn years to get it started

It only take 10 days to complete
& probably several more days to thoroughly succeed

I tarnished it
I guess

At the remaining several days

I went back to Advise B

Hopefully it will make a miraculous turn

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I kinda hate and kinda like my job
In a way
I'm being so damn ironic

Hate it coz it's not what I want
Neither is it the kind of job that I wanna venture further

Like it coz I get to meet people
& learn about new things

This job requires super duper amount of people relation
& we do have a standard format to greet incoming calls

"Good morning. [Whatever] Department. [Whoever] speaking. How may I help you?"

I never use this sentence
It is so beyond ... me
How can you expect an Ah Lian to act demure like that?
Must i flutter my eyelids as I speak face to face?

Although there's an quality service audit this month
As if I care

I recieved a set of documents needed for application, bounced back from Mr E in an external organisation
I looked at the documents & went "DUHZ"

I'd already informed them 1 month ago
They never update one another
Bouncing a set of documents ready to process here & there
Delaying the entire process

I called Mr E (name remains anonymous)
"Hi, this is [me] from [wherever].I recieved my documents being bounced back by YOU. I'd already notified you guys regarding the issue last month. So what am I supposed to do now? To re-do or what?"

Please note that this is my normal way of self-introduction and then I just BAM BAM BAM straight into the topic

Waste time say good morning for what?

Mr E:
"Er... you hold the line..."

1 minute later

Knn. So long.

Mr E:
"Who did you send it to?"

"Either [whoever] or [whoever]. Cant remember."

Mr E:
"When was it?"

"Last month"

Mr E:

Me thinks
Kns. Ask your colleague la. Notified means notified mah. Make me flip file check


Mr E:
"Oh ok."

"Ok means what?"

Mr E:
"Send back the documents to me"

"Of course. Sure I need not do anything?"

Mr E:
"No need"

"Ok bye"

Mr E sounded so dull and so beng-ish when he spoke to me
You delay my application still wanna act fierce?
Think I scare ah?

Ah Beng vs Ah Lian

When I told my colleagues about Mr E
They laughed
& they all agreed he's Ah Beng
Talk to people wanna scold people like that

I felt it's fun!
I'm going to call him more often
I no needa act demure to talk to him even though I donno him

Yeah man
Be myself

Yo yo
How may I help you?
Go & die?
This way please

Monday, May 21, 2007

It's my routine every Monday to walk past this bike shop
& everytime I see this guy
I shy away

I smile
He smiles back

Sometimes he will come into my clinic to borrow toilet
Sometimes I will go over his shop to change for small notes

We slowly got to know each other better
At least we know who we are
& talked abit

Last week
I saw his shop pasted with 'Moving Out Sale'
I looked inside
He's clearing stock
I ran over to ask for small notes
& also asked where he'll be moving to

"Oh ok"
That's what I said
We just smiled
& I thanked him for the notes

I walked past the shop
Gates pulled down


No more those 'ding ding' sound that is produced when metal is dropped onto the ground
No more 'ling ling' sound that the bike bell produces
No more 'jit jit' sound that the bike chain cycles
No more music from his ever crowded bike shop

I felt sad when I knew he's moving out
My first neighbour friend
I really felt something
That goes like
'Oh man... no one to change small notes with me already'

Probably at his side
He's happy
'Yeah~ No need to change small notes already!'


Bye bye
Bike boy (a nickname I call him)
All the best at the new location


Now I'm going to make friends with Pet-shop boy
(Really got pet shop beside my clinic leh)
So I can have my small notes


Sunday, May 20, 2007

Uncle Ringo is here!

I was pestering my DarDar to go with me
Coz the previous time I went with Malik
We won 2 giant Snoopy
& I wanna go again to see what I can win
But it isnt that crowded as compared to few years ago
So I also dont dare to play any games


Then went to walk walk Pasar Malam again!
This time
Lionel went with us
So we stayed abit longer to chat

DarDar made brownie on Saturday
Coz he was craving for that from Outback Steakhouse
But I was complaining I'm too tired wanna go home
So he bought those brownie powder from Cold Storage

Not bad lah
Although I lao-sai-ed abit in the morning


Had my dragonboat training today
Been going for thrice this month
& couldnt commit for next week and next next week

Competition coming soon
So training was quite fierce
& after the training
The coach approached me
& complimented that my strokes are quite good!
Got improvement!


It boosted my morale abit

I can still achieve something else
Not bad mah..........

I'm awaiting 25th May

*Swims like a mermaid*

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Pasar Malam is no longer that crowded anymore
Nothing much to buy
& every food stall is selling the same thing
Ramly Ramly & Ramly

DarDar tried the air rifle game
But missed all the target
He almost hit it but didnt fall off the rack
After 15mins & winning nothing
We decided to spend on food instead

Nothing bad wor
Afterall it's my 1st time eating kerbab

My parents came back from Aussie too!
But didnt buy much things back
Other then all the food that Mum likes
She got me the limited edition of black vodka!

Anyone wanna buy?
I'm selling at $200


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Back to office
The moment I put down my bag
Boss called me on my DID
Asked me into her office
& kana nagged for 5 mins


Then I called colleague for advice
She didnt advise me and push back the problem to me
& then nagged for 2 mins

I was totally demoralised

People haven recover fully
Come back show face with running nose
& my ears suffered
Breaking my heart
Depressing my mood

My brain couldnt work for the rest of the day
I decided to leave after bonus payout

Upon then
I shall find my way again

Till now
Still cant understand why am I so stupid to have drag my ass through the 1.5 years

I am

Monday, May 14, 2007

MC again
Always fever

Last week still hao-lian to Edwin
Said I can predict myself to fall sick last week
Coz not enough rest
Who knows
I really sick

SO I'm gonna invite gossips in office again

DarDar also MC
But he still so energetic playing games leh


Saturday, May 12, 2007

I fell asleep while I was watching TV
So did Isaac
So 2 of us dozed off on the sofa while watching TV together

Went to have dinner with DarDar's aunt, uncle & Isaac
The mall is holding some programme to celebrate Mother's Day
& one of the contestant was singing a high-pitched Chinese retro song
Which did not sound very high-pitch afterall
But very nice

Standing behind me is an Indian lady
She said
"She cant sing, for fuck's sake! She's killing me!"
I turned slightly to glance at her

I was sorta disappointed

I thought Singapore is a racial harmony country?
Let's not include me to be specially different from normal Singaporean just because I'm from Hong Kong
But I also understand chinese culture
So Singapore being a racial harmony country
Singaporeans, regardless of race, language or religion
Should also understand and respect one another's culture
Shouldnt we?

It may be really eardrum breaking upon hearing the retro song
But she won applauses from the entire mall
So loud that I bet the applauses are even louder than her singing

I admire her bravery
If I were to sing 'Twinkle twinkle little star'
I dont think I can even win a 5 years old kid's applause

So back to the Indian

No discrimination here

I just think that some people of other races does not understand the culture still
I also dont understand why they have to poke themselves with long, heavy metal spikes every year
But I never say anything like that disrespect their culture

I then got to understand that it's a ritual to repay their sins

Then again
It is not that pleasant to every one's ears
But such comments doesnt sound nice either

If only one can spend sometime understand one another's culture
I think that should make Singaporeans better

Friday, May 11, 2007

I cant sleep last night leh...
I think coz I played too much games at Settlers Cafe last night with my Coyotes

The Settlers Cafe is located at this secluded part of Holland Village
& they have Ladies' night too!
So we had 2 hrs of games & dinner for only $12.10

So many games that I'd never seen before
Let alone to even heard before

Some toppling game that tests our agility
My Hoot-hoot

Still got alot ahhhh
Played until my brain so active I cant rest

So i think next time cannot havoc during weekdays
I'm so deprived of sleep already


Tomorrow got dragonboat training too
Physically & mentally drained




Now we can buy car le~

Honda Jazz
Here I come!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Me:"Dar.. no money.. must save money ok? Eat bread drink water only hor.."

I bought chocolates for DarDar
*rolls eyes*

See my DarDar so happy with his sticks of mashmallow chocolate
Mashmallow chocolate & DarDar's pimple
Non-chocolate eater eyeing on the stick
Irresistable temptation

Back to eating bread tomorrow

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Today is World's Thalassemia Day
& I went for my free Thalassemia screening
My first time withdrawing blood

The nurse tied this rubber strap across my arm
& located my vein
She pressed and hit on the inner part of my left elbow
& claimed she cant find my vein
Then I joked that I'm too fat, that's why
& she said that my veins are embedded
She then felt it
Poked the needle into my arm

No blood collected
Coz my vein 'moved'

She then called for her colleague to assist in locating another vein
& both of them decided on the obvious dark blue vein on the back of my hand
She poked the needle in
The blood flew out into the plastic capillary
& seeped its way into the sample tube

Only 2ml of blood was collected

The 2 nurses freaked out abit
Seems like my blood was pretty stubborn
& they located the vein on the inner side of my right elbow
This time
A success
More than 20ml of blood collected from the syringe

As the nurse transfered it into the tube
and withdrew the needle out
My blood squirted out of the syringe
& on everywhere


My precious AB+ !!!!

I kana poked thrice
One no blood
Second little blood
Third more than enough blood and overspilling

I had 3 tiny plasters on my arms and hand
Suffered fleshy pain
My first blood withdrawal

Bloody hell
I worked my ass off to just earn the extra $300
& what do I get?


Some bloody people dashed into the clinic at 1050pm
Claiming their kids are damn sick
Scare will die

My god

If wanna die, send them to A&E lah
Told them we're closing already
Still insisted to wait

In the end
I just knocked off at 1145pm!
45mins of OT

But dont think Dr Wong cares

I must suggest to have OT rates
Since they have increased consultation fees after 1030pm



DarDar made me cry
& DarDar did not know how sad & disappointed I feel
He always shoot me back with this particular sentence
I just felt he didnt use his brains well enough to think about my thoughts and feelings deeply

I feel very inferior about myself
In terms of work
I have everything since young
Achieved myself to hold a degree
Which sorta fulfil my parent's dreams
It then plunged me deep down where I consider myself useless

Thinking back
Being able to achieve good results
Reserving myself a place in one of the Top 3 universities in Asia
What do I get?
Low expected pay
A job that I could never imagine myself doing it

I've been job hunting every now & then
& when I happen to see some other jobs that maybe DarDar can try
He told me to stop finding for him

I just feel sad

I didnt mean to purposely find a job for him
But I am happy that there're available jobs for my DarDar
and encouraged my DarDar to give a try
But yet he tarnished my hopes against it
& for the whole hour I wasnt able to find mine
It is a 1: 1000 chances if I could even see one all these while

I cried silently
and kept quiet the whole day
Until I couldnt take it at night
I said
"You get the chances you dont wanna grab. I want also dont have"

The inferior feeling just hit me hard


I so wanna kill myself
For wasting my parent's resources
and wasting my time

So much so that the world's best qualification just cant match what reality gives
I admire all my friends who can work what they learnt
I admire they enjoy their work
I just admire them

For me
I donno when that will be my turn

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Finally the week is over
I just ended my Dragonboat training
& Hell I'm dead tired

But what the heck
After a 10mins doze in the bus
I'm now all cleaned & dressed to go shopping later

Work on Friday was abit... roller-coaster-ly
My staff emailed me to count the balance of their funds for them
I was like 'Your funds you ask me count?'
But bo bian
In the end I went to find my boss
& my boss counted for me
But both of us could only come out with the expected breakdown
& I just replied her with it
Fearing that she might not be happy coz I didnt provide exactly what she wants
In the end
I recieved a big 'Thank You'
I felt relieved and happy

Then in the afternoon
I recieved a call from the receptionist saying someone is looking for my colleague
So I told my colleague to attend to the person
& when she's back
She told me that I should be the one attending coz I'm the one in charge
& I said but I was told it's yours
She just insisted that I should go out
Ok fine
Come to think of it
If she finds me so
Doesnt it make me the 'receptionist' for you guys?
I was so disappointed
This is so minor
Whoever could attend just attend
Must it always be black & white?
& why me being the one to be nagged at while I'm just helping to pass the message?


I so wanna kill my brother
He finished his canned food
Asked me buy but I refused
When I reached home
He said I finished his food
So I must buy back
I told him I dont even have the time to be back home to eat
How the fuck can I eat your fucking canned food?!
If I have the money I wont even eat canned food
Which is very true
& that's why I dont have time to dine at home
How can he blame me?
He forgot he ate it & said me
I tried to explain to him it's not me
He said
"Ah.. wanna cry already lah? Those pathetic voice"


My brother is such an ass
The whole washing machine is full of clothes
He doesnt bother to on it to wash it
He plays his fucking Diablo the whole day
He doesnt boil water
He doesnt wash the dishes
& in the end
I have to do everything after work
& that is a bloody 7pm
I am already very tired!

Told him to help water the plants
He said "Why me?"
& I asked him to help coz I needa cook
He said "Always me"
I told him
"Fine, later dont eat dinner coz I'm cooking it"
& he didnt eat the dishes but plain white rice


I fucking hate guys with ego

I donno why I'm so pissed off while typing this
But I am very pissed off by the fact that he is so egoistic!
& my DarDar is also so lazy playing games as well!



I dont wanna get married liao

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Donno how to survie if I marry

My parents are not in Singapore
So leaving me & my brother at home
I do all the housework & cooking
the 2 men in my house are playing games & watching TV

What the fuck

I off work at 6
Reached neighbourhood at 7
Went to buy groceries till 730
Cooked dinner & had dinner at 8
Finished at 9
Cleaned up till 930
Showered at 940
Now then I can finally sit down

& it's about time to sleep


Work so fierce
Now back home also so fierce?
Who calls it Home Sweet Home?

*rolls eyes*

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

It shocked me very much
Although we can consider we are no longer friends
Given the past 10 years sharing our lives together
Being there whenever we need each other
These memories just couldnt leave my mind

It had been 2 years
Absolutely no contact
I was dumped off the friendship all so suddenly because of a guy
My planned activities with her were all canceled because of a guy
She lied to me when I needed some concern because of a guy
Our friendship broke because of a guy

At times
I wondered
Where is she?

She lives few roads down my area
But we never meet
I think that's a good thing too
At least both of us wont feel awkward
But I wish I can meet her
So I know how she's doing

She used to be a very sweet girl
Come from a very lovely family
But all turned upside down when her family broke
I consoled her
I gave her financial support
I accompanied her
I gave her my listening ear
& then I stopped
Because of a guy

That guy
Is also one kind
We knew
But ever since he met my friend
He also dumped me out of the friendship

& so happily ever after
They are now together

I'm just a piece of unwanted piece of junk that was being used to catalyse their relationship
I almost wanted to die

I couldnt believe such people exist
So much for my effort for the past 20 years
Living & learning about life as we grow up
& then it just crashed to know that not all are perfect
It hit me

It hit me again
I got to know that my friend is pregnant
Pregnant with that guy's kid
I was shocked
I trusted the guy to take care of her coz they both dumped me to be together
So isnt it happily ever after?

What the fuck (pun intended)

The shock out of this shock is
I know my friend has been terribly sick
She is a regular to all the A&E department in all the hospitals
I sometimes worried about her health
Now adding this pregnancy
Further shock couldnt not be measured

Ectopic pregnancy
The development of a fertilized ovum outside the uterus, as in a Fallopian tube

This is life threathening

I feel happy when my colleagues are pregnant
& am interested to listen to their baby talks
But when I got to know my friend being pregnant
I dont feel likewise
She may die from it

She did it once
Another time
It will threathen her life again

Did I use the right word 'Friend'?
It's been 2 years with no words exchanged
Yet I feel something is missing

Call me emotional
I beg to differ
I treasure my friendship
Even with someone whom I just knew for a few minutes
We learn from one another even with a short chat

I met this American at Pulau Tioman during my dive trip
We spoke abit
& when we were in the water
I couldnt descend coz not enough weights
He helped me by giving me his
& taught me how to secure the weightbelt effectively
We conversed and chatted about our dives
He also remembered my name
Shouted at me as I walked past him unknowningly
& wished me 'Bon voyage' as we departed the island

DarDar realised that I have a lot of acquaintances
That's true
But it's all who share the same interest
From there
We developed

We never have problem
At least we dont fight over man onboard
We only fight for fishes underwater as our frame of focus isnt capturing properly

Back to my pregnant 'friend'

I wondered if she's still reading me
Whatever it is

Take care of yourself

I rest my mind