HENG AH!
The 4D number didnt come out
Although we missed by 1 digit

The weather was so weird on Sunday
Afternoon was hot like siao
I almost walked around naked

But I didnt

Went fishing with DarDar & Dean at Labrador Park


Then the big big Star Virgo passed by
Really very huge woooooorrrrrr



The passenger aboard were waving at us
Gave me a very deep impression of Titanic......

Hmmmmm

I'd like to try on the giant sail too
But I scare it'll become like Titanic

Bleah

Then today
I had fever in the morning

My eyes were so hot that they wanted to close every minute
Hot tears feel so weird

& luckily I always have medicine in my bag
& so I gobbled 2 paracethemol

I just returned from my Rescue Diver theory course
Now I'm so lazy to do researches
Haha

& Wed I needa meet up with my MSc supervisor
Die
Haven do research
>_<

I was pissed
I was angry
I was agitated
I was fucked-up
I was un-me

The dragonboat race was brought forward but no one told me when
So when I was near the interchange going to transfer another bus
They told me to reach in 30 mins time
I rushed to grab a cab
But realised I didnt bring enough cash
I had to queue long at the ATM

I then ran to the taxi stand for the cab
& told the cab driver to speed down to Bedok Reservoir

I managed to reach there before the race
But the team had already board the boat
So there I was
Watching on the shore

So much for the rushing

The team didnt win
Competitors were strong I guess

I felt apologetic for not being there earlier despite the SMS
& I did apologised
The coach still joked with me
But none of the rest talked to me

What the fuck

In midst of anger
I went off

I rushed my way down to stay there for barely 20mins

I wanted to meet DarDar
& so I thought I could just grab a cab to Beach Road
But I waited for 30mins
NO FUCKING CAB APPEARED

I was sooooooo angry
& I cried when I complaint to DarDar

In the end
We decice to just meet back home

Bus 66 always surprises me
The foreign smell is so intolerable
That I had to be blown by the air-con for the past 30mins

Just as I am just 1 level near to DarDar's house
DarDar called me to buy 4D
It was 1747

I asked him why he didnt buy the whole day
& he gave me 1001 reasons
I told him I donno how to buy
& I didnt wanna walk all the way too
Then he pled & pled
& god damnit, by the time he'd had successfully pled
I would have reached that 4D store

Flocks of gamblers lining up
All the way onto the road
As I was searching for the tail of the queue
A bloody red Picanto honked me

$#$%#$%@#@$^%%^$!#$@$^%&(&^$%#%@^&&$#$

I was really very pissed off already
On seeing the crowd
The fucking act-cool male driver could have driven on gear 1
S L O W L Y

& honk simi lanpa?
You are just driving a PICANTO ok?

I ignored him & just walked on
& then this bloodily blind auntie talking on the phone
Knocked me on my shoulder as SHE walked past

CHAO CHEE BYE

What kinda stupid idea is this NETS priority queue?
Being shorter, I queued
Afterall it said priority
But it seems like the CASH queue is so much faster!!
I didnt wanna change queue coz the CASH queue seems to grow longer
Probably by the time I went over it would be my turn at the NETS queue

When it's my turn
The auntie schouted
"4D closed liao"

KAN NI NA BEI CHAO CHEE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

For all the time I'd been rushing
& not accomplishing ANYTHING
I felt it's totally a waste of MY time

I felt sssssssssooooooooo fucking pissed off with today
That I screamed at DarDar in tears over the phone
I was so angry till I cried

I then dragged my feet back DarDar's house

Must be a curse from the ugly catfish
That made me unsuccessful
I told you it's a fish spirit

DarDar finally caught something more than 20cm this time!
But the species is still the same as all his previous

UGLY CATFISH!


It being huge & ugly disgusts me

@_@

I asked DarDar why he go catch such ugly fish
Maybe it's some evil spirit possessed in it
Then he got it out onto the land
Later haunt him how?
Catfish got poison on spines
But maybe he really fish spirit got poison throughout body
How?

DarDar ignored me with a -_- look on his face

My dad still said he wanna eat
I said I don wan coz it's ugly
So I told him to wait for a grouper during his next fishing trips

Hey
SG water got groupers wor
DarDar's friend's friend caught one before
& it was hugeeeee

Heng I never go last night
Or else I sian 1/2
Always kana catfish
At least Andy's 1st fish caught at Kukup was a scat
So not so bad
But DarDar's 2 victory catches at Kukup was a striped eel catfish & a brackish water Malaysian catfish

Hail DarDar as Catfish King!

Oh anyway
Now that fish is outta my house for slaughtery
No sight of ugly fish anymore

Time to go for my dragonboat race later!

On leave today!
Finally got time to do something stress-free

Went Beach Road with DarDar to grab some fishing accessories
Then went to Golden Mile to eat lunch
Had duck rice & gyoza
Then DarDar said he wanted to eat chocolate waffle

Golden Mile has a popular dessert shop - The Sweet Stone Parad'Ice.
Opened by a Belgium

I dont really like sweet food
So I wasnt so enthusiatic bt it
But being KPO
I followed DarDar to the shop

DarDar ordered the chocolate Liège Waffles
& the shop owner said
"Wow, you're our 11000th customer. We have some free gifts for you!"

DarDar & I looked at each other
& was given 2 cups of 2 scoops of home-made belgium ice-cream

IT WAS YUMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

& guess what?
The ice-cream is only sold at $1.80 for 2 scoopes

Cheap worrrrrrrr

So we stuffed our already-full stomach with additional scoopes of ice-creams
& too full for the Liège Waffles

Oh, the Liège Waffles is special
Not those normal waffles you buy from Prima Deli
It's just too good I donno how to describe!

Anyway
Now we have more excuse to go to Golden Mile for food
I love the Veggie Char Kway Tiao
& DarDar love the Liège Waffles

Heehee

Went back home for dinner
FINALLY
Yes
I've NOT been home for the past week

Bad girl

& so
I made dinner tonight

I made Ebi Tempura & Scotch Eggs!




The Scotch Eggs are my 1st try
& it tasted so nice
I'm so proud of myself

DarDar went fishing with his friends already
I'm alone watching TV & online
Ha

Hmmmm...

When is my last time being happy at work?
Hmmm...
Today, I guess

Early in the morning
I recieved a 'Thank You' card
It's from one of the staffs thanking me for helping her with her financial issues for the past week
She even gave me Ferrero Rocher
=)

Few hours later
Another staff called me to discuss something she couldnt decide
She's left with only 3 days to decide
I explained the possibility to her if she chose not to
& also suggested a way to help her
She said
"Cynthia, thank you very much. You're not only a [Whatever Dept] person... you're also a good counsellor."

I felt good to have helped her

Sometimes
I felt that my minimal help is not that significant
But it could really solve someone's problem
& in return
They appreciated my help

*smirk*

How ironic
My staffs appreciated my work when we only met or spoke on phone once or twice
My supervisor didnt appreciate my work when we meet everyday

Ha

Ha

Ha

...............

It's just hard to be good person in the working society
Unless
You can polish their apple until sparkling clean

=|

My PaRappa The Rapper
Kanasai
If you have no music coordination, dont play
Surely pissed the hell off
& damn
I'd spent 2 days playing the same stage over & over again
Where has my music coordination gone too?

Oh yah
I went to St John's last week to attend seminars at TMSI
I thought I'd been there before with the WildFilms
But it seems not

-_-

Oh well...

The island is full of cats






My senior was there having his seminar
Went to support
=)

Ah
Seems like my MSc application is working well too
I'm once again stepping forward to my dreams

It's raining heavily
With thunder roaring

*ROAR*

-_-

DarDar got me my 'PaRappa The Rapper' game on PSP
He only managed to clear the 1st stage after 5th trial
But I cleared on my 1st trial

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH

It seems like I can only play brainless game

=p

A last minute trip back JB
Bleah
Stupid DarDar said dont wanna go back JB to celebrate his Dad's birthday
Then his Mum issued Command warrant to return
& dragged the forever-sleepy me go as well

ZZZZZZZzzzzzz

Donno why so sleepy leh
Die lah
Donno kana what unknown illness

Now I pray that I can be accepted for my Masters course
The Prof is very nice
Offered me one of her project topics to research upon
Woohooo

Counting down to my freedom

I wanted to do some update
But I wasted 15mins to read something else
Cursiousity + Procrastination = Me

Bleah

Took MC today
Sore eye
Ba jiu ang ang wor~
X_x

Must be some hot guy electrocuted me without me knowing it

Oh
I'm glad
I have some good replies after staying up for 2 weeks to come up with a proposal
& my proposal was being considered!
The Head of Department (whom I hope could be my possible supervisor)is also helping me to see my eligibilty for research scholarship

Woooooohoooooo

Never in my life had I gotten a scholarship
I wonder if Edusave Bursary counted

I can finally take a short rest from all the brain-racking things
& am going to take a longggggggg rest in Aug

Oh yeah
Decision decided

I may not be as good as you think in your field
But I am as best as I am in my field
So let's stop wasting our time

Au revoir

C'est le fin

I'm damn grouchy & pissed this morning
& slightly better by 1% in the afternoon
Now I'm too tired to start complaining about anything
Coz
I HAD FINALLY DONE UP MY MASTERS PROPOSAL

Brain dead

I hope I recieve a positive reply from the HOD

Guan Yin bless me please
Amitabha

Are you telling me that I am not doing a good job for the past 6 months?
What does that alphabet stands for then?
How can I be given a representative alphabet when I was fresh & knew nothing about work flow
and now given a even more fucked up representative alphabet when I had already know the correct work flow?
If I'm so lousy
Why keep me after the year?
I didnt push on when I was not given a pay rise when it's stated in the P&P
Didnt you like to follow P&P?
So why not me?

I am very disappointed by the way you treat your own 'children'
Other 'mothers' could fight for what they deserve despite disapproval
You, however, kill your 'children' by sacrificing us to gain your own pride

How could we not make noise?

If I really do a bad job
I would surely have missed all the deadlines
& landed myself in deep trouble

But I didnt

Giving up my once passion hoping to learn something new
I am now being bitten at the butt instead

How foolish I am

I will fight my way to gain back what I should deserve

I will get myself outta the shit hole you'd prepared for me

Prepare to do some facial mask after I threw that piece of paper at your face

*muack Ashley*


Happy Birthday!

Everyone is so amazed by my dark-colored hair today

Never see me with 'black' hair before meh?
My colleagues asked me why I go dye back 'black'

I replied
"No lah. It's blue"

& their jaws dropped

"Le siao ah le. Dye blue..."

"what's siao? Even you cant tell it's not black...."

".............."

Great!
My 2 professors had agreed to do the referee report needed for the application
NOW i MUST think of my project proposal
Cant procrastinate anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Saturday went to have buffet lunch with my dive freaks!
Thanks Mun Hoe for inviting us & enjoy this lunch
It was sooooooooo grand that I was very impressed with the atmosphere
& it isnt too expensive if I could give it a 9/10 rating

We went to Equinox at Swissotel
My first time stepping into this expensive hotel
Let alone to even have a meal there

We travelled up to the 69th storey
& it had wonderful view!
So much better then that at UOB centre!

The food rocks
It is so fresh
We 'chiong' the cold crabs, osyters, sashimi and sushi


Best of all
It has free flow of fois grais
*yummy*
The Spartans dug in

It was really good
Especially if you love raw food
The desert is also nice
DarDar grabbed like 60% of the peach pie from the counter
x_X

After the meal
All of us couldnt resist taking photos
Nice hor?

Not bad for a meal gathering
Normal price of $48+++ per pax
But we only paid less than $30 coz Mun Hoe got discount
Woooooohoooooo~~

I'm eating too much of a good food already
Fats accumulation around waist

It's time back for fishball mee

Ok
I'm going for it

I'm applying for my Masters
Now doing all the neccessary

Whether it's ok or not
At least I'd done it

God bless me
Amen Amen Amen

KS from one of the local Uni came to look for me regarding my FYP in HKU
Apparently he is also doing a similar project like mine
& hope that I could guide him & assist him to plan
After a 1.5hr's discussion
He got his focus

I'm glad I could help him after all these years of isolation from Environmental Science
But looking at his smiles and the acknowledgment
It proved that my heart is still heading back to where I wanna be

I think it's time to move on

If I leave in Aug to start looking elsewhere
I will miss my $3K plus bonus in Dec
If I leave in Dec to start school
I will not get my $3k plus bonus also

So....
Should I leave early & plan wisely?

I'm now having 3 options
1) Go NIE & be Science teacher
2) Take up MSc
3) Go overseas to work

In fact
I'm currently working on point 3
Hopefully I'm being recognised somewhere out there

If not
Point 2

and worst
Point 1

Do you know that Malaysia wants me?
I want them too despite my salary being halved
But it's the damn work permit that they cant issue

What the fuck

Here MOM approves whatever nationality

I just wonder why
It's never me

Sucks

Sorry guys
After that busy week immediately after my dives
I'm again busy in Malaysia

Parents went to visit DarDar's parents
& they had fun!
=D
Ate & ate & ate nonstop
BWhahaha
& we went shopping!


Not much work to do now
So I'm slacking my ass yet acting busy
=)
I bet efficiency counts

I am efficient!

I'm now planning when I should quit
Damnit
I'll be recieving my bonus in Jun and another in Dec
The anmount is x1.5 my current
How?
If only I'm rich to even be bothered bt money issue

Even my underwear now has holes

....................

No holes how to wear wor

*giggles*

Ok
Lame enough
Time to sleep

I haven blog for the entire week!
I was soooooooo busy that by the time I reach home
It's already 12pm

Oh well
My dive was bad
Worst of alllllllllllll
*cries*
I hadnt been taking my nasal medicine 1 month before my dives
So when I entered the water
I couldnt equalized quick enough
& I had a very bad headache for the rest of the day
I feared so much that I scare I'll have decompression sickness arising too
& I just froze coz the more I move
My head just felt like expanding

Ok 'nuff said
Photos tell it all






Chay Hoon went with me
& then it happened that she's Shermaine's primary school mate
Then it also happened that she's Lye's friend's sister
& then we realised that
Hey! We know one another!
& our trip was fun & funny!

=)

But damn the headache

Ok lah
Now must save money to go elsewhere
Just got back from drinking
Discussed bt our next dive destination

****

I need sleep
I shall update bt my sucky work
Pui

Good
I'm free from Thalassemia
Those 3 trials of blood withdrawal worths the test

Wooohooo!
Finally to diving!
Cant wait to see my bumpheads
=D

I cannot tahan stupid people
As in
Really logically STUPID
Cant believe their existence

J from external organisation called me
Told me that the documents I provided is photocopied upside-down
Requested for a clarification
Wants me to send them a proper copy

I was like
"DUHZ!Clarify what shit? Cant you do it re-photocopy the photocopy into the correct position?"

I told my colleagues
All went 'DDDDDDDDDDDuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhzzzzzzz'

See
Delay my application again

Nothing better to do isit?

Sad

I have 2 different versions of advise on the same thing
Advise A
Advise B

I donno which to listen

And I thought I should listen to Advise A
& started working towards
Then midway
Realised something is wrong
I should have listen to Advise B
But I cant turn back

Regretful

It's something that dragged me for 5 bloody damn years to get it started

It only take 10 days to complete
& probably several more days to thoroughly succeed

Now
I tarnished it
I guess

At the remaining several days

I went back to Advise B

Hopefully it will make a miraculous turn

I kinda hate and kinda like my job
In a way
I'm being so damn ironic

Hate it coz it's not what I want
Neither is it the kind of job that I wanna venture further

Like it coz I get to meet people
& learn about new things

This job requires super duper amount of people relation
& we do have a standard format to greet incoming calls

"Good morning. [Whatever] Department. [Whoever] speaking. How may I help you?"

I never use this sentence
It is so beyond ... me
How can you expect an Ah Lian to act demure like that?
Must i flutter my eyelids as I speak face to face?

Although there's an quality service audit this month
As if I care

Today
I recieved a set of documents needed for application, bounced back from Mr E in an external organisation
I looked at the documents & went "DUHZ"

I'd already informed them 1 month ago
They never update one another
Bouncing a set of documents ready to process here & there
Delaying the entire process

I called Mr E (name remains anonymous)
"Hi, this is [me] from [wherever].I recieved my documents being bounced back by YOU. I'd already notified you guys regarding the issue last month. So what am I supposed to do now? To re-do or what?"

Please note that this is my normal way of self-introduction and then I just BAM BAM BAM straight into the topic

Waste time say good morning for what?


Mr E:
"Er... you hold the line..."

1 minute later

Knn. So long.

Mr E:
"Who did you send it to?"

Me:
"Either [whoever] or [whoever]. Cant remember."

Mr E:
"When was it?"

Me:
"Last month"

Mr E:
"Date?"

Me thinks
Kns. Ask your colleague la. Notified means notified mah. Make me flip file check

Me:
"[Whenever]"

Mr E:
"Oh ok."

Me:
"Ok means what?"

Mr E:
"Send back the documents to me"

Me:
"Of course. Sure I need not do anything?"

Mr E:
"No need"

Me:
"Ok bye"

Mr E sounded so dull and so beng-ish when he spoke to me
You delay my application still wanna act fierce?
Think I scare ah?

Ah Beng vs Ah Lian
Zero
One

When I told my colleagues about Mr E
They laughed
& they all agreed he's Ah Beng
Talk to people wanna scold people like that

I felt it's fun!
I'm going to call him more often
I no needa act demure to talk to him even though I donno him
Wahahahahaha

Yeah man
Be myself

Yo yo
How may I help you?
Go & die?
This way please

It's my routine every Monday to walk past this bike shop
& everytime I see this guy
I shy away

Sometimes
I smile
He smiles back

Sometimes he will come into my clinic to borrow toilet
Sometimes I will go over his shop to change for small notes

We slowly got to know each other better
At least we know who we are
& talked abit

Last week
I saw his shop pasted with 'Moving Out Sale'
I looked inside
He's clearing stock
I ran over to ask for small notes
& also asked where he'll be moving to

"Oh ok"
That's what I said
We just smiled
& I thanked him for the notes

Today
I walked past the shop
Gates pulled down

Silent

No more those 'ding ding' sound that is produced when metal is dropped onto the ground
No more 'ling ling' sound that the bike bell produces
No more 'jit jit' sound that the bike chain cycles
No more music from his ever crowded bike shop

I felt sad when I knew he's moving out
My first neighbour friend
I really felt something
That goes like
'Oh man... no one to change small notes with me already'

Probably at his side
He's happy
'Yeah~ No need to change small notes already!'

=|

Bye bye
Bike boy (a nickname I call him)
All the best at the new location

=)

Now I'm going to make friends with Pet-shop boy
(Really got pet shop beside my clinic leh)
So I can have my small notes

Hee

Uncle Ringo is here!



I was pestering my DarDar to go with me
Coz the previous time I went with Malik
We won 2 giant Snoopy
& I wanna go again to see what I can win
But it isnt that crowded as compared to few years ago
So I also dont dare to play any games

=\

Then went to walk walk Pasar Malam again!
-_-
This time
Lionel went with us
So we stayed abit longer to chat

DarDar made brownie on Saturday
Coz he was craving for that from Outback Steakhouse
But I was complaining I'm too tired wanna go home
Heehee
So he bought those brownie powder from Cold Storage


Not bad lah
Although I lao-sai-ed abit in the morning
LOL!!

Nah

Had my dragonboat training today
Been going for thrice this month
& couldnt commit for next week and next next week
=|

Competition coming soon
So training was quite fierce
& after the training
The coach approached me
& complimented that my strokes are quite good!
Got improvement!

WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It boosted my morale abit

I can still achieve something else
Not bad mah..........

I'm awaiting 25th May
DIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

*Swims like a mermaid*

Pasar Malam is no longer that crowded anymore
Nothing much to buy
& every food stall is selling the same thing
Ramly Ramly & Ramly

DarDar tried the air rifle game
But missed all the target
He almost hit it but didnt fall off the rack
After 15mins & winning nothing
We decided to spend on food instead
Woooo...kerbab


Nothing bad wor
Afterall it's my 1st time eating kerbab

My parents came back from Aussie too!
But didnt buy much things back
Other then all the food that Mum likes
She got me the limited edition of black vodka!

Anyone wanna buy?
I'm selling at $200

^^

Back to office
The moment I put down my bag
Boss called me on my DID
Asked me into her office
& kana nagged for 5 mins

Sigh

Then I called colleague for advice
She didnt advise me and push back the problem to me
& then nagged for 2 mins

I was totally demoralised

People haven recover fully
Come back show face with running nose
& my ears suffered
Breaking my heart
Depressing my mood

My brain couldnt work for the rest of the day
I decided to leave after bonus payout

Upon then
I shall find my way again

Till now
Still cant understand why am I so stupid to have drag my ass through the 1.5 years

Bitch
I am

MC again
Sigh
Always fever
WHY?

Last week still hao-lian to Edwin
Said I can predict myself to fall sick last week
Coz not enough rest
Who knows
I really sick

SO I'm gonna invite gossips in office again

DarDar also MC
But he still so energetic playing games leh

Idiot

I fell asleep while I was watching TV
So did Isaac
So 2 of us dozed off on the sofa while watching TV together
Haha

Went to have dinner with DarDar's aunt, uncle & Isaac
The mall is holding some programme to celebrate Mother's Day
& one of the contestant was singing a high-pitched Chinese retro song
Which did not sound very high-pitch afterall
But very nice

Standing behind me is an Indian lady
She said
"She cant sing, for fuck's sake! She's killing me!"
I turned slightly to glance at her

I was sorta disappointed

I thought Singapore is a racial harmony country?
Let's not include me to be specially different from normal Singaporean just because I'm from Hong Kong
But I also understand chinese culture
So Singapore being a racial harmony country
Singaporeans, regardless of race, language or religion
Should also understand and respect one another's culture
Shouldnt we?

It may be really eardrum breaking upon hearing the retro song
But she won applauses from the entire mall
So loud that I bet the applauses are even louder than her singing

I admire her bravery
If I were to sing 'Twinkle twinkle little star'
I dont think I can even win a 5 years old kid's applause

So back to the Indian

No discrimination here

I just think that some people of other races does not understand the culture still
I also dont understand why they have to poke themselves with long, heavy metal spikes every year
But I never say anything like that disrespect their culture

Slowly
I then got to understand that it's a ritual to repay their sins

Then again
Yes
It is not that pleasant to every one's ears
But such comments doesnt sound nice either

If only one can spend sometime understand one another's culture
I think that should make Singaporeans better

I cant sleep last night leh...
Aiyo
I think coz I played too much games at Settlers Cafe last night with my Coyotes

The Settlers Cafe is located at this secluded part of Holland Village
& they have Ladies' night too!
So we had 2 hrs of games & dinner for only $12.10

So many games that I'd never seen before
Let alone to even heard before

Some toppling game that tests our agility
My Hoot-hoot
Jenga


Still got alot ahhhh
Played until my brain so active I cant rest

So i think next time cannot havoc during weekdays
I'm so deprived of sleep already

Die

Tomorrow got dragonboat training too
Physically & mentally drained

x_X


**************

MY DARDAR PASSED HIS TP TODAY!
FINALLY!
MUST BE MY MASHMALLOW CHOCOLATE!
YEaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Now we can buy car le~

Honda Jazz
Here I come!

Yesterday
Me:"Dar.. no money.. must save money ok? Eat bread drink water only hor.."

Today
I bought chocolates for DarDar
*rolls eyes*

See my DarDar so happy with his sticks of mashmallow chocolate
Mashmallow chocolate & DarDar's pimple
Non-chocolate eater eyeing on the stick
Irresistable temptation
*Chomp*


Ok!
Back to eating bread tomorrow

Today is World's Thalassemia Day
& I went for my free Thalassemia screening
My first time withdrawing blood

The nurse tied this rubber strap across my arm
& located my vein
She pressed and hit on the inner part of my left elbow
& claimed she cant find my vein
Then I joked that I'm too fat, that's why
& she said that my veins are embedded
She then felt it
Poked the needle into my arm

No blood collected
Coz my vein 'moved'

She then called for her colleague to assist in locating another vein
& both of them decided on the obvious dark blue vein on the back of my hand
She poked the needle in
The blood flew out into the plastic capillary
& seeped its way into the sample tube

Only 2ml of blood was collected

The 2 nurses freaked out abit
Seems like my blood was pretty stubborn
& they located the vein on the inner side of my right elbow
This time
A success
More than 20ml of blood collected from the syringe

As the nurse transfered it into the tube
and withdrew the needle out
My blood squirted out of the syringe
& on everywhere

...................

My precious AB+ !!!!

I kana poked thrice
One no blood
Second little blood
Third more than enough blood and overspilling

I had 3 tiny plasters on my arms and hand
Suffered fleshy pain
My first blood withdrawal

Ouch

Bloody hell
I worked my ass off to just earn the extra $300
& what do I get?

Frustration

Some bloody people dashed into the clinic at 1050pm
Claiming their kids are damn sick
Scare will die

My god

If wanna die, send them to A&E lah
Told them we're closing already
Still insisted to wait

In the end
I just knocked off at 1145pm!
45mins of OT

But dont think Dr Wong cares

I must suggest to have OT rates
Since they have increased consultation fees after 1030pm

Lalalala

Sigh

Yesterday
DarDar made me cry
& DarDar did not know how sad & disappointed I feel
He always shoot me back with this particular sentence
I just felt he didnt use his brains well enough to think about my thoughts and feelings deeply

I feel very inferior about myself
In terms of work
I have everything since young
Achieved myself to hold a degree
Which sorta fulfil my parent's dreams
It then plunged me deep down where I consider myself useless

Thinking back
Being able to achieve good results
Reserving myself a place in one of the Top 3 universities in Asia
What do I get?
Low expected pay
A job that I could never imagine myself doing it

I've been job hunting every now & then
& when I happen to see some other jobs that maybe DarDar can try
He told me to stop finding for him

I just feel sad

I didnt mean to purposely find a job for him
But I am happy that there're available jobs for my DarDar
and encouraged my DarDar to give a try
But yet he tarnished my hopes against it
& for the whole hour I wasnt able to find mine
It is a 1: 1000 chances if I could even see one all these while

I cried silently
and kept quiet the whole day
Until I couldnt take it at night
I said
"You get the chances you dont wanna grab. I want also dont have"

The inferior feeling just hit me hard

Demoralisation

I so wanna kill myself
For wasting my parent's resources
and wasting my time

So much so that the world's best qualification just cant match what reality gives
I admire all my friends who can work what they learnt
I admire they enjoy their work
I just admire them

For me
I donno when that will be my turn

Blah
Finally the week is over
I just ended my Dragonboat training
& Hell I'm dead tired

But what the heck
After a 10mins doze in the bus
I'm now all cleaned & dressed to go shopping later
=D

Work on Friday was abit... roller-coaster-ly
My staff emailed me to count the balance of their funds for them
I was like 'Your funds you ask me count?'
But bo bian
In the end I went to find my boss
& my boss counted for me
But both of us could only come out with the expected breakdown
& I just replied her with it
Fearing that she might not be happy coz I didnt provide exactly what she wants
In the end
I recieved a big 'Thank You'
I felt relieved and happy

Then in the afternoon
I recieved a call from the receptionist saying someone is looking for my colleague
So I told my colleague to attend to the person
& when she's back
She told me that I should be the one attending coz I'm the one in charge
& I said but I was told it's yours
She just insisted that I should go out
Ok fine
Come to think of it
If she finds me so
Doesnt it make me the 'receptionist' for you guys?
I was so disappointed
This is so minor
Whoever could attend just attend
Must it always be black & white?
& why me being the one to be nagged at while I'm just helping to pass the message?

Sigh

I so wanna kill my brother
He finished his canned food
Asked me buy but I refused
When I reached home
He said I finished his food
So I must buy back
I told him I dont even have the time to be back home to eat
How the fuck can I eat your fucking canned food?!
If I have the money I wont even eat canned food
Which is very true
& that's why I dont have time to dine at home
How can he blame me?
He forgot he ate it & said me
I tried to explain to him it's not me
He said
"Ah.. wanna cry already lah? Those pathetic voice"

CHAO CHEE BYE

My brother is such an ass
The whole washing machine is full of clothes
He doesnt bother to on it to wash it
He plays his fucking Diablo the whole day
He doesnt boil water
He doesnt wash the dishes
& in the end
I have to do everything after work
& that is a bloody 7pm
I am already very tired!

Told him to help water the plants
He said "Why me?"
& I asked him to help coz I needa cook
He said "Always me"
I told him
"Fine, later dont eat dinner coz I'm cooking it"
& he didnt eat the dishes but plain white rice

EGO!!!

I fucking hate guys with ego
KNN

I donno why I'm so pissed off while typing this
But I am very pissed off by the fact that he is so egoistic!
& my DarDar is also so lazy playing games as well!

ARghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

M
E
N

I dont wanna get married liao

Aiyo
Donno how to survie if I marry

My parents are not in Singapore
So leaving me & my brother at home
I do all the housework & cooking
the 2 men in my house are playing games & watching TV

What the fuck

I off work at 6
Reached neighbourhood at 7
Went to buy groceries till 730
Cooked dinner & had dinner at 8
Finished at 9
Cleaned up till 930
Showered at 940
Now then I can finally sit down

& it's about time to sleep

.........................

Work so fierce
Now back home also so fierce?
Who calls it Home Sweet Home?

*rolls eyes*

It shocked me very much
Although we can consider we are no longer friends
However
Given the past 10 years sharing our lives together
Being there whenever we need each other
These memories just couldnt leave my mind

It had been 2 years
Absolutely no contact
I was dumped off the friendship all so suddenly because of a guy
My planned activities with her were all canceled because of a guy
She lied to me when I needed some concern because of a guy
Our friendship broke because of a guy

At times
I wondered
Where is she?

She lives few roads down my area
But we never meet
I think that's a good thing too
At least both of us wont feel awkward
But I wish I can meet her
So I know how she's doing

She used to be a very sweet girl
Come from a very lovely family
But all turned upside down when her family broke
I consoled her
I gave her financial support
I accompanied her
I gave her my listening ear
& then I stopped
Because of a guy

That guy
Is also one kind
We knew
But ever since he met my friend
He also dumped me out of the friendship

& so happily ever after
They are now together

I'm just a piece of unwanted piece of junk that was being used to catalyse their relationship
I almost wanted to die

I couldnt believe such people exist
So much for my effort for the past 20 years
Living & learning about life as we grow up
& then it just crashed to know that not all are perfect
It hit me

Now
It hit me again
I got to know that my friend is pregnant
Pregnant with that guy's kid
I was shocked
I trusted the guy to take care of her coz they both dumped me to be together
So isnt it happily ever after?

What the fuck (pun intended)

The shock out of this shock is
I know my friend has been terribly sick
She is a regular to all the A&E department in all the hospitals
I sometimes worried about her health
Now adding this pregnancy
Further shock couldnt not be measured

Ectopic pregnancy
The development of a fertilized ovum outside the uterus, as in a Fallopian tube

This is life threathening

I feel happy when my colleagues are pregnant
& am interested to listen to their baby talks
But when I got to know my friend being pregnant
I dont feel likewise
Somemore
She may die from it

Abortion
She did it once
Another time
It will threathen her life again

Did I use the right word 'Friend'?
It's been 2 years with no words exchanged
Yet I feel something is missing

Call me emotional
I beg to differ
I treasure my friendship
Even with someone whom I just knew for a few minutes
We learn from one another even with a short chat

I met this American at Pulau Tioman during my dive trip
We spoke abit
& when we were in the water
I couldnt descend coz not enough weights
He helped me by giving me his
& taught me how to secure the weightbelt effectively
Then
We conversed and chatted about our dives
Amazingly
He also remembered my name
Shouted at me as I walked past him unknowningly
& wished me 'Bon voyage' as we departed the island

DarDar realised that I have a lot of acquaintances
That's true
But it's all who share the same interest
From there
We developed

We never have problem
At least we dont fight over man onboard
We only fight for fishes underwater as our frame of focus isnt capturing properly

Anyway
Back to my pregnant 'friend'

I wondered if she's still reading me
Whatever it is

Take care of yourself
PLEASE

Here
I rest my mind

I sorta scare of going back Malaysia with DarDar
Every second every minute Auntie keep asking me to eat
"Come, eat this, very nice..."
"Come, try this, elsewhere cannot buy.."

Ok loh
Then I also abit very cheapo go and eat loh
& in the end
Ate one after another

I had late dinner on Friday after seeing my parents off to Aussie
& then reached Malaysia at around 10pm
Had dinner till 11pm
& then ate DarDar's birthday cake
& went to bed at around 1 plus
Then next day had Secret Reciepe for brunch
& then had dinner
& then durian for supper
Wah I buay tahan
Heng I still weigh the same

I like to go DarDar's house
Coz it's damn big
& I can run around
Chat with the maid
& sat on his grandpa's OSIM iRobot
Watch his 35" TV
with stereo surround sound
Sleep in his air con room
Wooooo~
But then I'm fed with too good food that I donno if it's a bliss or a bless

Anyway
I made this Prawn Cheese Springroll
Very nice worrrrrrrr~
Saw it on TV
& went to try making it today
Heehee
& it proves a success!

*claps*

WHY OF ALL TIME MY WASHING MACHINE MUST SPOIL WHEN MY PARENTS ARE GOING OVERSEAS!!!!

Sian

Now I smell of Fried Fish Bee Hoon
It just makes me puke
Why?
Coz on Wednesday during my clinic duty
Got this old man had AMI
& puked his dinner out
Smelling exactly as which
& I had to hold the bin for him
I almost died
& he was put on drip
& sent to the hospital

@_@

& my fave food is Fried Fish Bee Hoon
Damnit

I realised that my doctors always like me to assist them
All those surgery emergency cases
Always ask me into the conuslting room

Oh well
This shows that I'm appreciated!
=)

Rain rain rain
Stop raining lah...

Sorry
Have been really busy lately

Brought my 2nd hand Mares Abyss down for Edwin to take a look
& luckily still usable
However needa service that cost about $100+
& I'm gonna bargain for this reg for $300 instead of the quoted $400

Wooohooo
I'm gonna have my own regulator!!

Parents going Australia tomorrow
Sobsob
This means I have to be home more often to take care of house
Darn
No time leh
Wash clothes must spend 1 hr
Cook dinner another
By time everything is done is sleeping time
Where got time to do my things?
Sigh...

Think I better not get married
Cant imagine me staying up late still to do all these

So as my parents go Aussie
I'm going Malaysia
Heehee
Shopping time!
I miss the Secret Recipe there
It's cheap & I can try as much items as possible within my budget

I have a lot of things to do!
No time!
Die
My colleagues are so gonna kill me sooner or later
Once efficient, now no longer
Cant blame
I have 5 hours of meeting for consecutive 3 days
How to sit down to work?

Bad shitty news
I applied for transfer to other company but pending successful application
& the stupid company sent a notification letter to my boss
Die la
Now she knows I wanna leave le
Sure blacklist me liao

Sighhhhhh

May's coming
Diving
Let's be happy for another 2 months
Coz then it's Bonus time!
Probably also resignation time

I'm busy
I'm lazy
I'm just plain busy yet lazy

Cant bt bothered
Planning how to go about doing my 3rd job

Had too much chilli today
Now my stomach burns

My parents are going Australia this Friday!
Sob Sob
I have to do housework
Cynderella!

Thank *pui* it's Friday
I *pui* *pui* & *pui*

Although it's half day for me
I went to MOM to do something for my colleague
but MOM too crowded
So I went back office
& after that go interview
& was pissed off by the guy
& so I pissed him back
then returned to MOM again
But still alot of people
& so I thought of returning to office to return the things to my colleague
But thinking it's half day
So I decided to go find DarDar
& coz today is our anniversary
I wanted to go buy some of his favourite chocolates
But then that stupid mall dont have
& so I decided to go NIE to find him
which I'm sitting down at his cosy cubicle typing this blog entry

So busy

The interview is at this advertising & media company about scuba dive
I was so glad and happy that I was shortlisted
& when I reached there
That idiotic guy told me he dont have my CV
& coz I'm so busy today
I also didnt print my CV
Then I introduced myself
& he straight away rejected
Coz he said I have no sales experience
Nevermind!
So I replied "If you're looking for someone with sales experience, you shouldnt have call me down in the first place"
He felt guilty and told me coz probably due to my qualification and dive certification that's why I'm shortlisted
What a lousy excuse but I didnt care
He then asked me to send him my CV directly for his consideration

Ah
What the heck

I hate such people
Always tell me no time to train want experience
I qualified in science & i'm doing political admin
I am certified with life support skills & I am not a doctor
What makes everyone?
There's always somewhere of a point to start with!
Even Bill Gates doesnt qualified from IT and he's up with Microsoft

Sigh

Gotta job hunt again

Finally rest day tomorrow
=D

Tomorrow is the last day of my this colleague, S
We used to be quite ok when we first started
Could chat could laugh
But slowly
She and the other people started to bully me
Obstracised me from the team
Avoided me when I joined them in a discussion
Pushing all the shitty things on me

It was fine
I could take it
Although I was very sad over that period of time

Then things got abit worse after one of the colleagues resigned
We had to cover her port folio
& then I started to take up mine

I tried very hard to do things within my limit
But without prior work experience and knowledge
I could not do things up to their expectation
& they hate me for 'screwing' up their projects

My boss had been very patient with me
She taught me alot of things
and gradually expanded my portfolio

My other colleagues were not that please that their portfolio decreased while mine increase
Kinda implying that they're not doing a good job as I started to do
& again, more obstracization

I then ventured and looked for new group of 'possible' friends
& I did

Back to S
She is a very dilligent girl
She knows what she is doing
and she can manage her things to be done tactically
I admire her
But because of how they treated me
We never spoke since I came back from my long holidays in Dec

When I ask her things
She always frowns
& ask me go check things myself

It really pisses me off when it's just a Yes or No simple question
& it wastes my time to go check things out
I know that might be the style of how she explores things
But if she knows the answer
She can share
Apparently
No

I was very angry

Every email that she sent me
Demanded me to do things
Even minor things also must carbon copied to boss

Political tactic

I do not know what went wrong
& I couldnt care
& yes
I did feel sad

Until last month
I found out that she resigned
She did not tell me
I was very disappointed

If we could not be friends
Being a colleague would be least appreciated
But I dont think this is so even

I spoke to my 'brother'
& he told me not to be so sensitive
But I told him I'm just disappointed
Is she so unforgiving if I really had done something wrong?
It's her last few days
Could she be more open & accept me as a colleague?

I then forget about it
& be it
Afterall
I'm the open-minded one
If you dont like me, then forget it
If you wanna hate me for life, be it too
But it's just that I dont understand why so

Despite the inner grudge
We had our farewell lunch yesterday

I feel fine today
Just feeling a bit missy that she's gonna leave
I even thought of writing her a farewell email although I sit in front of her
Afterall
We'd worked for a year

Some hours near the end of the day
It sparked me
I saw the printed documents I wanted in her rubbish bin

HOW CAN SHE THROW MY DOCUMENT AWAY WITHOUT ASKING ME WHEN IT LANDED UP WITH HER?
SMELLY SEA HUM!

This is toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

If she hates me, yes, go ahead & ignore me
That's our private issue
Work is work
& throwing away my documents making me unable to complete my task just because she hates me is interfering MY work

I felt both pissed and very sad

My first job
Met this type of people
I learnt

Tomorrow is her last day
Tomorrow is my half day
I guess that is how we depart

I treasure the days we had and learnt together
I treasure the laughters we shared in the beginning
But in the end

Yes
The End

Wah lau
Buy 20 tabs of flu medicine
Very difficult meh?

My doctor prescribe me the flu medicine I wanted
Coz the flu medicine my clinic has has no effect on me
So my doctor wrote me a prescription
I headed to the pharmacy to buy
Then directed me to another branch coz they're doing stock-take
Fine
For the week, not free
Today I went to the pharmacy of another branch
Told me the pharmacy will be in at 8pm
& at that time
The current pharmacist is still at the counter
I wanted to ask if they sell or not
But before I could finish my question
The pharmacist shoo-ed me away & told me to come back at 8pm

I was so pissed off
& I said loudly
"Wanna buy medicine also so difficult. By the time can buy already dead"
The senior sales assistant looked at me with embarassment

I dont care!

I stormed out of the pharmacy
Headed to DarDar's family clinic
& bought it there

Knn

All the fuss & time wasted
How many days is my nose still running without the medicine?
I've been sick for 3 weeks
Mind you
Just getting some medical help is just so torturous

*rolls eyes*

=)

Guess what
I'm gonna take up Rescue Diver + Dive Master course
Wooohoooo~
Then I can lead groups of divers
& pursue as my 2nd part-time job
Wahahahaha
Money!

So excited

Sigh
Stupid things always happen at work when my boss is not around
I think my head is gonna roll this time

I'm gonna have my mole removed next week
Free!
By a famous plastic surgeon
Hope everything goes well

My diet plan starts now

*giggles*
*giggles again*
*giggles again & again*

I will be known as Mrs Pang in 7 months time

*rides & hide in corner*

I'd lost 3kg over this week while I'm sick
& I hope I can be sick forever
So I can lose my weight

My DarDar just slapped me on my head

=(

I weighed myself at the clinic
It made me smile
Either I'd lost more than 3kg or that the weighing machine is inaccurate

Supposedly going to have sushi dinner tomorrow night
So anticipating
Then today my colleague told me I have to attend this meeting at 530pm
WHAT THE HELL!
Then Mum said 'Saturday loh'
I said 'Cannot.. working'
'Sunday loh'
'Cannot.. Dar's uncle's birthday'
...................
I'm so busy over this weekend
Sigh
My Mum rolled her eyes as I told her my activities

My parents so good
Going Australia next week
>_<
I only go Malaysia
Back to DarDar's house

Everyone is leaving
I also wanna leave
Some posts look interesting
But cant risk to abandon my current
Not until I get my bonus

Yes yes
Like those typical bitch who grab money & run

But

Cant blame
Who doesnt die for money?

My friend is opening a position for me
But will still be working in the same current line
Which I'm already suffocating in those tedious work processes
He said I would be having more exposure and allow me to expand
Coz it's a MNC

Sounds really good
But the job title sounds not-so-high-class
& like I'd said
It's the same as what I'm doing

I dont care if I'll be promoted within months or what
The thing is
I JUST WANNA GET OUTTA THIS LINE!

I mean it's good to be given an opportunity to expand
It means that you have the potential to clench more & more knowledge and contribute efforts
Who wont be proud of?

But really
Do you think a doctor working as a receptionist will ever feel happy?
(I'm just illustrating a possible scenario.Characters are fictional)
Feeling that his/her talent and knowledge had been a waste?
Playing more with papers than with chemicals in the rest of the life?

I'm vexed

My fingers kept clicking on every hyperlink
My eyes kept scanning for the benefits
My brain kept racking for a precise decision
I'm almost dying of exhaustion

Leave? Dont leave? Leave? Dont leave?

Friend said if there's an opportunity
Grab it
When it's time to go, go
Just like
When it's time to shit, shit

Damn
I havent been shitting for the past few days
Other than that slight diahorrea I had in Batam after eating the extra hot chilli from A&W and my whole anus burnt like hell

....................

Question: If you were me, what will you do?
Answer: 1) Wait until June's bonus then leave, even without a new job
2) Just go if new job offer
3) Stay and rot until a suitable job is found


Sigh
Headache