Am I getting stupid?
Stupid enough to realise that he's lying but trying to trust him
Or is he getting smarter?
Smarter in being a liar, using his innocent best friends as a shield
Lie everything to me so he can enjoy his life without any disturbance
So no one will stop him & not stay at home

Erm.. sorry?
If a husband doesnt stay at home
What does a husband do?
Fuck around with other girls & guys?
I dont care about who he fucks with
But I dont expect lies for the nth time!!!!

I'm so confused now
I donno which is true & which is false that comes from his mouth
I dont dare to even wanna comprehend more
The more I think it isnt right
The more fuss I get
& the more I cant believe it isnt true

I dont wish to talk to him
Neither do I wish to talk to anymore people about him
Everyone can tell something's not right
& I have to cover it up we're damn perfect

We WERE
Past tense, please

& I donno why this is so now

I hate his friends
They teach him all the bad influence

I get so irritated that I feel like killing myself
To make him realise that he really drives me to this very verge of bipolarity
To make him realise that my death is all because of him
Using my death to make him turn over
BUT of course I'm not stupid
I still have a far future to go for

I just cant stand it
I feel like running away from home
I dont wish to see him
But this will give him an opportunity to be more agressive

I just dont have the breath, energy & love to care about him anymore
I feel like giving up

I'd placed the largest bet in my life
& I think I'd lost