Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I had a really bad evening yesterday
after saying how good life can be if one relax

I met my bro at evening
to pass him a gear that he needs for his training course
& stayed back to have dinner with him

I thought it's a precious moment of us sitting together & chat
but it didnt turn out the way I wanted

Bro kept complaining how sucky NS is
Not because it's torturing him physically
He complaint that the time is wasted on doing this service & making him lose the amount of money that he could probably earn while working
I explained to him that money isnt about everything
& he then blamed dad for bringing us over to SG
& said how good it will be if we're still in HK
so he can at least now do his Uni
& work soon

I then asked if he'd taken leave for my wedding
He said his boss wont approve
Puzzled, i asked again
He got agitated
& said he asked but his boss didnt approve
So I told him, I too asked a very simple question
If he had asked his boss - answer: yes or no
He didnt answer to either yes or no
So how would I know & why does he assume that his boss rejected his application?
I again explained to my bro the simple logic of answering a simple question

He then started to blame me
Why am I holding my wedding on a Monday
When he has to go camp
& that all the chore just to take a leave
& that he has to return camp at night
Couldnt attend the banquet
He might as well dont take
He then blamed me for the cause of having to do my wedding in May
Instead of next year, which he would be ORD by then

I was sad

From the chat
It was all about him

I'd expect him to do something worth for me
His only sister
like making things impossible possible

My heart really sank
& i had tears in my eyes

He saw it
Instead of saying sorry about how hurt those words are
He chased me off & told me to go backk home to cry

Totally fucked up

I wish I could beat him to wake up his fucking damn stubborn mind
There are things unexplained & unplanned
But we just have to accept & see to it
Let it go & move on

He's only 5 yrs younger than me
But that doesnt mean he is still young to understand

All he does was to collect all those bad memories
& pour grudges onto them
Hating them for life
& blaming others for it
When in the first place
He is the one who cant accept & let go to live a better life

My heart sank
For the whole night
Couldnt sleep till 4am

DarDar dumped me alone to go fishing
That added to the madness

I hope my actual wedding day isnt gonna be screwed by any of those insensitive people
I am already very stressed & pissed by some
I hope it can be a happy occasion
For everyone

Please, grant my wish

No comments: