I cant be sure if Monday is really the worst day of the week
But so far, yesterday was indeed the I-believe-it's-worst-enough day

I was doing my assigned task
When this colleague of mine kept passing things to me all at one shot
Basically coz she's to resign today
Ok
A handover
But while I'm at my busiest moment?

Somemore I've never handle her things before
So it's really hard for me to digest all so suddenly
& she was rushing this rushing that coz she has to meet some other colleagues to bid farewell

Right

I was kinda pissed
& beginning to feel stressed
Looking at the 3 pages long of tasks which I was assigned too
I wanna slam her in my imagination cloud floating above my head
She just kept on assigning me things
Saying
"Cyn will do this, Cyn will do that" to the Director during meeting
*roars*
Ok I can do it
But it's more of an appointment instead of distributing a task with agreement
I was NOT briefed but it
I was NOT asked if I can do it
I was NOT asked if I'm willing to take up the tasks
Just simply dump me a thing & say I'll cover it

I do admit she works very well
& I admire her working skills
How she handle things & manage people
But just that
In order to benefit her
Letting people know how good she is
How well she manages to get the team to work 'together'
She neglects my feelings
Simply because
My role is to provide support to the team members

Not that I dont want
But
Can I have some communication first?

When the Director asked
"Can you manage it?"
I replied
"I'll try my best"

I will try my best

So while I was starting to finish some of her tasks
I asked if she has the file which I needed
She said she had it
& coz I saw her walking around talking to other colleagues
I asked if she can pass it to me coz she's on her way out, passing by me
She said
"You want the file you can take it yourself"

I didnt mean to be wanted to be served like a Queen
But the fact is that
I'm doing her work, would appreciate if she can appreciate my helpfulness, in a way
& also, since she's kinda free, being so chatty & stuffs, passing me a file on her way out isnt a chore, I believe
But I just felt OH-SO-ARGH when I heard her say that

Irritating

& then
My mood grew super dull
Plus a bit of grey, including lightning afterwards

I kept thinking if I can do her tasks well
Afterall she has been known to be a very good employee
Given a promotion within 6 months
Even the Director asked
"I hope you girls can be consistent in the quality of work that _____ provides... Dont disappoint her...Blah blah blah"

Ask you
If you're me
Stress bo?

Somemore I dont even know how to do her work
Everything is so clueless to me!

& I rot the rest of my night at clinic
Somehow
Injury case always brighten me

Gosh
I'm such a sadist

Last night got this Indian fell down from bicycle
Cycling back home after work
Then think nose broke or what
I asked my colleague what happened
She said
"I cant see leh, he so dark"(pun intended)

......................................................................

Then today got training
How to achieve service excellence
It was a good workshop
I believe I had already attained some of the values from it
But I could probably do more
& it taught me alot
Totally forgot I still needa work on Thursday

So anyway
It kinda solved my frustration through games

The workshop covered this skills under 'Communication'
I kinda pondered after that
I'm not very talkative among the team
Coz basically I dont gossip in the first place
Neither are they interested to talk about cars, which I'm totally mad about
Neither am I interested to talk about babies, coz 1 is already a mum & 2 are mummies-to-be
So all I do was just listen & listen

Being a good listener in turn was obstracised

*stabs myself with a fake knife at my left chest*

Although they appeared not so obvious to me
Sadly
When one is blind, others senses are more alert

Wait wait
I ask you all
Must one gossip in order to be an acceptance among a group?

Dar asked me why I was unhappy last night
But I kept thinking
I didnt wish to talk about it to him
Coz I'll then start complaining
& making myself worse than before
While the unhappiness were kept in me
It sorta seeped off my brain
However so
I still remained quiet
& later
I surprised DarDar with streams of tears
Again

Sorry
Not very good at expressing myself face-to-face
My blog is my main voice-out

Oh anyway
It's National Day's eve
I need some good rest
Battle on Thursday
Wish me luck