Sigh....
I wish I'm gone again

Recieved my supposedly-good news from NIE
Hesitating the offer due to financial problem

Scholarship not granted
Sigh

I just wanted to try my luck if I could even take up MSc in the 1st place
& so I did
Then I wasnt granted the scholarship
Parents told me to continue studying since I'm able to get in
But I lack of confidence, wondering if I could do it
I donno if I can get the job I want when I graduated AGAIN
Will it be a waste of time, money & effort?

I am very lost

DarDar said his dad could possible help me
But 10K per year is a huge sum! (if I'd calculated that correctly)
I donno how many cycles of reincarnation would it be to repay everyone's kindness

I really donno if I should accept or reject
Accept: for the sake of working in my related fields overseas, where mini job requirement is a MSc
Reject: for the fear that I wont find my desired job again, wasting everyone's time, money & effort and fearing of forced withdrawal due to lousy performance

When fear overwhelms confidence
I'm just a piece of shit