these few days that i wasnt writing my thesis

made me think alot of my future

as in

what am i gonna do after graduation?

a part of me was thinking i should carry on my faith in striving to work overseas as a researcher

afterall that was what i'd been wanting to do & thus did my PhD

however

another side of me was just telling me to let it go, start a family & live happily

it depends how one interpret life

as far as i'm content with what i can have

being any smarter, richer, more popular within the circle doesnt make me any happier

to choose between these choices brought me back to square one

i said, time is telling at the wrong time

should i not have met my hubby, i wouldnt proceeed to do my post-grad 5 years ago

our hopes are that, with me, we will travel around the world attending overseas conferences, living everywhere & earn big money (especially if you can have English Pounds converting back to SGD or HKD)

but these were naive dreams

now that hubby is doing well in his job

he has now taken over the role of the breadwinner

i am feeling less burdened now

& that makes me feel like loosening all my nerves & giving up, see things slowly & breathing out

this is a tough struggle now

afterall it is all psychological

either i just keep thinking of being a strong woman or just a puppy waiting for the family to be home

tell me about growing up